Rain

No, I do not refer to the excellent story by Somerset Maugham, I refer instead to the horrible atmospheric phenomenon which has utterly destroyed my day off from work. Hence, the drip and puff of ash from the fire grate beneath the chimney and the large and Bloody Mary [gathering condensation] to the immediate left of this computer [cheers].

I was supposed to meet Yasu and Gonchan [woof!] in the city for a little luncheon and post-prandial perambulation in the park this afternoon, but our date was rained out. In fact, the rain was so bad in our section of southeastern Connecticut that when I sailed outside to the street to collect the floating garbage cans I had to send up a signal flare and be rescued by the cat [Meow.]

Luckily, before venturing anywhere I made provision for this contingency by stuffing my pockets full of flares and waterproof matches and sealing the cat inside her scuba gear, which

she prefers to a conventional rain slicker. [Boy, this drink is really strong.]

After being rescued by the cat, along with the aid of six surly brown rabbits and their captain, a vole, from the Coast Guard, who happened to be cruising by on a detached, motorized door that had once belonged our eccentric Scottish neighbor, Mr. Mclaren, I spent a few hours sitting on the porch, drying out, reading Tristram Shandy. [Not only strong, but spicy! Mmm!]

From which I clip the following piece of advice for the conscientious reader.

Writing, when properly managed,
(as you may be sure I think mine
is) is but a different name for conversa-
tion : As no one, who knows what he is
about in good company, would venture
to talk all ; -- so no author, who under-
stands the just boundaries of decorum
and good breeding, would presume to
think all : The truest respect which you can pay
to the reader's understanding, is
to halve this matter amicably, and leave
him something to imagine, in his turn,
as well as yourself.

For my own part, I am eternally pay-
ing him compliments of this kind, and
do all that lies in my power to keep his
imagination as busy as my own.